Into The Wind

Finding a way to live life.

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Eastern Promises

Earlier this year I came into contact with a few people in the film business who lived near Pittsburgh, PA. I had planned to take a week in November after the wedding and fly up to discuss opportunities available in the area. Not wanting to leave Lisa right after our mini-moon we decided to spend the money and buy her a ticket too. She had never been and was excited to see a part of the United States she hadn’t seen. After October passed and the wedding day came and went in November, I decided to fly to Pittsburgh in December. I packed a suitcase, the laptop, and Lisa’s ashes, which are locked in a blue jewelry box. I arrived in Pittsburgh later that evening after almost missing my plane in Dallas. They ran my backpack and Lisa’s box through security twice and even got out a residue kit. As soon as I was done with security they called my name on the intercom and told me I had 2 minutes left before they closed the boarding doors. Luckily it was gate 4 and a quick hustle got me on in time. My father met me at the airport in Pennsylvania.

Today I woke up in Pennsylvania for the first time in 21 years. As a child I lived in the Allentown area for four years and tomorrow I visit some of my childhood memories. Today I was able to visit some local eateries and the University of Pittsburgh campus. I went to a hotdog joint, a pub, and Heinz Memorial Chapel. The hotdogs were decent, the beer was likable, and the chapel was gorgeous. Being non-religious, I was quite surprised and delighted to see some uncommon stained glass residents including Sir Isaac Newton, Benjamin Franklin, and Emily Dickinson.

It’s nice here. Even in winter when the leaves fallen and the sky is grey, it is still a beautiful place. I wish Lisa was here to see it, but she can’t. Like every night, I turn off the lights, hold her box of ashes close to my heart, and fall asleep.

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An Unplanned Journey

There comes a time in a person’s life when everything changes. This change can be for the better or for the worse. In my case I have had my life upturned twice. The first time was when I realized my fiancee was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. All the plans I had for a career and the way I was going to live became second to our life together. We wanted to explore the world together and raise a family. The second time my life was upturned was when she died in my arms one month before our wedding day. I can’t find it in myself to take life seriously any more. I exist but I don’t live. I’ve decided I don’t want to spend the rest of my life trapped in such a state of mind.

For the last month I have often thought about our plans to see the world together. I don’t have the money to travel out side of the United States, but I do have the means to travel inside it. Next year I will take two months away from my current life and travel my car across the country. I will take Lisa’s ashes with me and document the trip. I need a life changing moment to rescue myself from a life where I don’t live.

I plan on experiencing every state and visiting parks, places of historical significant, festivals, and getting to know new people. By the end of December I will have made plans for the pets and how I will pay for the apartment while I am gone. At this point I am not ready to leave give up the place I spent my last days with Lisa.

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